Saturday, July 4, 2015

Home

Right now, I am unsure of the definition of home. As at "home" as I feel right now in America, I felt just as at "home" in Guatemala with my 100 brothers and sisters. Yes, sure, my blood relatives are here as well as people who speak my language. But is that what really makes it "home"?
Home, to me, is a place to be yourself, an environment surrounded with love, community, friendship, and a sense of purpose. I have most of these things listed in the U.S. and Guatemala. But, I feel empty. I am sitting at my house, clean from a nice, hot, long shower with the TV in front of me, air conditioning on, sitting in my pajamas typing on my phone. Not really fulfilling a purpose, am I?
Of course, I know that God created me with a purpose. These past 6 weeks, I feel that I have filled my purpose to its full potential with my abilities. Now what is my purpose? I don't have a house full of preschoolers to love on, to watch over, or to care for. I don't have to hand wash dishes or hang clothes outside to let them dry. I don't know where to go from here. I have about another month until my purpose is to be a student. Until then, I'm lost. Is this really "home"?

Friday, July 3, 2015

Last day

24 hours from now, I will be hobbling my way through the Guatemala City airport on my way to the world of hot showers, clean sink water, and air conditioning. It's is definitely a bittersweet departure. Being with these kids for 6 weeks, I feel as if I am one of them. I will miss the kids coming up to me just to talk to me about their toy, while I just nod my head, only understand if a few words. I will miss hearing feet run behind me to feel my hand being grabbed by one of my sons/daughters. I will miss the kids saying they want to help me walk to dinner, going slowly with me down each step. I will miss getting hugs around the waist. I will miss being a mom to 16 crazy little angels (Angelitos). 
This past week, before I hurt my knee, thankfully, was one to remember. The kids go to school from January-October, so last week was their summer break, kinda like our spring break. An activity each day, some inside Casa Shalom, some outside. It was an opportunity I took to interact with some of the kids I usually don't get a chance to. I got to spend some time with the teen girls I got to live with my first week here, and also got to know the boys a little better. 
One day, we went to the pool. About an hour drive. One big yellow school bus and a packed 12 passenger van to two pools, probably the size of 40 people total. I'd say there were about 40 people in one pool! A little more packed than I'm used to, but I could tell all the kids were having fun! My shoulders hurt by the end of the day from carrying toddlers atop them and helping the older girls learn how to swim. 
Another day, we got bounce houses, a rock wall, pinatas, fuse ball table, and a foam wrestling mat delivered to the basketball court. Each age group was separate, older kids on the rock wall/wrestling mat, while the younger ones had the bounce houses. It was a well organized, fun filled day. 
On to the park. The entrance reminded me of a scene I might've seen in Tennessee, near the Appalachian Mountains. Tall trees, rock path, and wooden handrails leading down to a wide open area with teeter totters, swings, and even a zip line. We got to take a walk down to a lookout point to see a beautiful view over Guatemala, with city and mountains combined! We crossed over a wooden swing bridge and I got to ride in a rope swing over a valley in the woods (the toddlers were too small!) It was probably my favorite activity from the week. 
Wednesday was my (and Jenna's) going away party. This was an hour for us to interact with just the house moms and the cooks, a chance for them to send us off before we leave tomorrow. Of course, there were many tears, hugs, and photos taken. Each one of them said something to Jenna and I about our work here. A few of them even cried when talking to us! We've not only grown with the kids but also the house moms that we work alongside all day. More goodbyes that will hurt me tomorrow. 
Tonight and tomorrow comes the goodbyes.  I know it will be very difficult for me to leave, and it probably won't hit me until I get home. I know each of these kids has changed my life and I hope that I have had a small impact on at least one.